This is no friend but a recurrent dream

that brings fear and shrouds my future.

The shackles of the past hold me tight,

a prisoner in an old sanctuary

 

Flee the door and fear not the broken stair,

Steady your hand upon the rail and

watch for the treacherous threshold,

a precipice thinly disguised.

 

So many times my flight is

thwarted, my escape an illusion where

 the speeding lift delivers me only to a

platform of deception and deceit.

 

We are all captive here, not me alone,

as we climb and fall and seek to

traverse these dark and hidden corners

whose secrets never are revealed.

 

I know this dream, we meet often and I

wish to travel it no more. My soul is

tired of this dark and perilous journey

where every step brings dread.

 

Behind me now the jeweled city

 in the bright morning sparkle. I flee.

 A bridge, a train, a river. My toes skim

the water as freedom beckons.

 

Jump, jump, let the train go.

Squelchy, marshy ground and pools

of water between my toes. The river

guards me and I look back no more.

(c) Lesley Dewar

 

A recurrent dream – I knew it only too well.

Recurring dreams are very frustrating – because they clearly have a message for us from our sub-conscious.  But, it is rare we understand them until we have solved the riddle they pose.

For many years, this dream came again and again. Where, with great trepidation, I would climb a circular staircase, unable to see around the curve and know what lay ahead. Where steps broke underfoot, and the security of the handrail was brittle.

Not always alone in my perilous journey, I was always the only one who got to top of the stairs. To find there was no safety.

Or a speeding lift bore me to the top of wherever I was, only to have the doors open, and for me to step out on to a platform most insecure. The lift doors close, and I am aloft with no escape.

Indeed, I remember the first time the train bore me across the river, and I did jump. I felt  the squelchy marshy ground between my toes.

But I did look back.

On the other side of the river, looking after me from the bamboo thicket, was my tiger.  My life long companion tiger – now irretrievably left behind.

It is not my only recurrent dream – this is one I have safely left behind. One day, I will find a way to escape the luxurious cruise ship, which offers everything except freedom.